Analysis paralysis: hip support vs. shoulder relief

Mattress Talk Needs & Personal Preferences
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Thank you for taking the time to click on my post. I have read through this forum a lot and been back and forth to various stores and still cannot find a solution.

I have not been able to find a mattress supportive enough for my hips (when on my back) and soft enough for my shoulders (on my side). For four years I’ve been sleeping on a DIY foam base + Tempur-Pedic topper, and it’s been fine for a 6’ 4", 215 lb back-and-side sleeper. For years the DIY mattress was directly on the floor, but it hasn’t been the same since I put it on a cheap, horrible frame for a few days (have since tried KD Frames with no luck, and now it’s back on the floor, but it just isn’t working anymore). I have tested at least 30 mattresses in the last week along with many hours of online research and emailing customer service reps, and cannot find the right balance of support vs. softness. At least I virtually never sleep on my stomach, so I can rule out one degree of freedom.

The Tempur topper I have is nowhere near the firmness of a new Tempur-Pedic mattress, and if anything my mattress is a little on the soft side, but I didn’t have any outright low back pain until recently. My shoulder loves the softness, but my lower back is starting to banana, and the pain is pretty severe. I’m rolling up a blanket and jamming it in my lumbar region at night to keep the worst of the pain away.

My top 3 most comfortable showroom experiences so far have been:

  • Tempur Pro Adapt (firm): fantastic, strong-yet-cradling back support when on my back. Tolerable shoulder softness on my side, although I have doubts this would last through the night. $2700 for a Twin XL is a lot, especially when I’m hearing that the brand’s quality is going downhill lately.

  • Avocado (base version): felt great in the showroom, but reviews about bad longevity scared me off.

  • Original Mattress Factory Serenity Latex – 3" soft talalay over a poly foam core. Comparing OMF’s price for a synthetic talalay blend and poly core turned me off, comparing to the lower prices for a pure latex somewhere like @Sleep_EZ. (I like the environmental benefits and springy feel of latex, but at this point I’m getting desperate so I’m not look exclusively at latex.)

I’ve been entirely unimpressed with any conventional innerspring mattress, no matter the price. They all feel like my hips sink too much into the springs, while simultaneously failing to give my shoulder the softness I’m looking for – so they fail on both counts.

Hybrid mattresses just seem like I’m paying for springs I don’t need and still let my hips drop lower than I think would be comfortable overnight, although if the top is foamy enough my shoulder is happy.

I’ve laid on some 100% latex mattresses from Savvy Rest and one other brand. I’ve tried various configurations. 3" each of soft-medium-firm Dunlop felt too firm, but I should give it another try since I’m running out of options here. Medium talalay over medium dunlop over firm Dunlop (Savvy Rest) felt fine on my low back, but too firm for my shoulder (9" of latex total). Putting an additional 3" soft talalay topper on that same Savvy Rest (for a total of 12" of latex) felt great on my shoulder, but my hips sunk way too much. Soft talalay over firm Dunlop over medium Dunlop felt really hard on my shoulder.

In addition to local salesmen (large dealer, boutique latex dealer, and Original Mattress Factory), I’ve talked directly with Sleep On Latex, Sleep EZ, and Savvy Rest, and they have various suggestions about combining talalay and Dunlop of different densities. All the ideas sound fine in theory, but they all differ from each other, so I’m not able to get any emergent consensus.

Zoning: in theory the feel of a Purple mattress or some other very giving, gentle, thick surface would be great for my shoulder, and then I already said that the Tempur Pro Adapt firm felt fantastic on my low back. I’ve laid on mattresses that the salesmen said are “zoned” but the difference between hips and shoulder is not enough to notice. I want medium-to-firm for my hips, soft for my shoulders, so in theory zoning sounds nice, although since I haven’t actually laid on a high-differential zoned mattress, I can’t say so for sure.

I’m splitting hairs, analyzing like a crazy person, annoyed at what I’ve learned about the mattress industry and how opaque everything is. I’m so glad this website exists! I understand it’s very personalized to each person’s body, weight distribution, and sensitivity, so I know someone reading this post can’t automatically give a perfect recommendation right out of the gate. Any direction, thoughts, brand names, materials, or experiences are appreciated. Am I being too picky? Is there a mattress out there that can check all these boxes?

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Lone,

I cant believe you liked Tempur Pro Adapt Firm for side sleeping! That is the firmest mattress in their offering! Try Luxe Adapt Firm and Luxe Adapt Medium Hybrid also. I like LAF myself. The Luxe collection is super conforming!

I used to be very “anti inner spring” myself. I like foam. But I was really shocked when I tried BackScience 2 and 3!!! “Perfect spinal alignment while laying on a cloud” is how I would describe it. It did have springs, but I didnt care. I also would describe it as “a Purple mattress, but with good back support”. The spinal alignment and support with BackScience is amazing! The pressure relief is in between latex and memory foam.

John

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By the way, the Luxe Adapt Firm has 5 zones.

John

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Lone,

Id also check out Aireloom Preferred Luxetop M1/M2 in firm/plush (4 mattresses) and Streamline. Stay away from Aireloom at Macys.

Flobed talalay latex has the VZone which has 5 zones.

John

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@BillyIdol Thank you so much for these recommendations!

The Tempur Pro Adapt Firm for side sleeping was borderline, but I felt like every other Tempur Pedic didn’t give enough back support to justify the cost, regardless of how it felt on my shoulder. I only tried four (one hybrid, three all-foam), but consistently I was wanting more back support if I was going to be spending that much. The declining quality of the Tempur brand while still charging premium prices was something I was worried about, too. Do you know much about that? Less dense foam than they used to have, banana-back after a year or two, etc.

Funny you mention Purple. I tried four different Purples and every single one felt great on my shoulder but certainly not enough back support. The $4,000 one felt slightly better on my low back, but for that price I could buy a Tempur and have $1,300 left over. $4,000 for “mediocre” wasn’t worth it to me.

BackScience looks very tempting. Thank you for mentioning them! I was surprised to quickly hear back from the founder himself. It looks like it has the potential to be a great fit.

I had glanced at Flobed vZone many days ago (originally found it on this website) and was grateful that you reminded me of it again. I’m back to the “soft” vs “firm” debate there with latex, since despite testing half a dozen latex mattresses ranging from OMF’s synthetic blend to multiple 100% organic Dunlop and and Dunlop-talalay, I can’t get quite the right balance of support vs. pressure relief. As I mentioned, OMF’s Serenity feels good, but I struggle to stomach that price-quality ratio when Sleep EZ is charging less money than OMF with 100% latex instead of synthetic over poly. The high variability of latex that I’ve experienced in stores makes me worried about buying online, too.

Aireloom looks nice but is out of my price range for a Twin XL.

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If you like Tempur Pro Adapt Firm, get that. I felt like Luxe Adapt Firm was a bit more conforming for side sleeping. I had a Tempur Deluxe which was a Tempur original, so I dont know much about “declining quality”.

BackScience has a sister company called Tempflow memory foam and they use a denser memory foam. I found out about Tempflow while driving down the freeway one night. BackScience and Tempflow are in the same showroom.

John

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I feel your pain and frustration - literally. With increasingly painful issues and an ancient Tempurpedic, I set out on the same quest about three years ago. After several very expensive and uncomfortable mistakes, I found my Mecca with a DIY latex build. Three layers of Dunlop (firm, medium, soft) with a separate topper of medium Talalay. All mattress components from LMF on an Ergomotion adjustable base purchased locally. You can search for my other posts where I go into more detail on both. I hope you find your solution, too.

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@BillyIdol: Due entirely to your comments, I went down a research rabbit hole with Back Science. I had several emails and phone calls with Rick about Tempflow vs. Back Science. After weeks of research and many hours in multiple mattress stores, I finally ordered a Back Science Series 3. Thank you so much for helping a stranger on the internet.

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@BLK56: Because of your comment, I went back to a latex mattress store (and the internet) to give soft Dunlop a second chance. I tried various combinations and it was more comfortable-yet-supportive than I had initially given it credit for. In the end I decided to go with a Back Science 3, but it was a close call between those two in the end. Thank you for your help.

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Lone,

Were you able to go up to the BackScience showroom?

Im glad you like the BackScience3! Im on a BackScience2 as I type this!

John

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@BillyIdol unfortunately I’m 2,600 miles away from their showroom, so I’m taking a bit of a gamble. Their unique design, stellar reviews, Rick’s ability to customize what I buy, and the 365-night trial period are all strong enough that it was worth the risk of return shipping costs. I tested at least three dozen mattresses local to me and none of them were quite was I was looking for. Worst case scenario is I’m back on the hunt for another mattress in 365 days, but it’s certainly worth a shot.

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Oh ok.

BackScience 3 is supportive but so soft also. I think you will love it!

Best wishes!

John

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Thanks again for the recommendation. I’m so glad you responded and mentioned their name. My original question of shoulder comfort vs. back support was clarified when I thought about how I’ve been neglecting my sleep apnea for years and should prioritize sleeping on my side, even though I naturally want to do a mix of back and side. That’s why I went with the series 3 instead of the series 2 – although I’m pretty confident the support for back sleeping will be there too, for when I roll over that way. :slight_smile:

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