Hello all!
I’m hoping for some advice on a latex configuration, mostly. I’ve done a lot of research on different types of mattress components and based on my personal experiences, I think latex is the best option for me in terms of balancing comfort, cost, and longevity/quality.
To start, I’m 29, 5’3", and range from 130-140lb in weight. I carry most of my weight in my hip and thigh area and have much less padded ribs and shoulders. I’m a primary side sleeper with a tiny bit of back sleeping sprinkled in. I also have Ehlers Danlos syndrome (EDS) and postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome (POTS).
EDS essentially causes an extreme level of hypermobility in the connective tissues of the body, so my joints are very unstable and that leads to my muscles working overtime trying to “keep me together”. I have a lot of issues with muscle pain, joint pain, subluxations (partial dislocation where the bone isn’t fully pulled out of the joint), and the occasional dislocation.
POTS is more of an issue during my waking hours, since it often leads to fainting, fatigue, etc, but it also means I’ve got some really terrible circulation in my hands and feet and I have temperature regulation issues. I’ve found I need a lot of softness to prevent pressure points and numbness, but also a lot of breathability so I’m not waking up sweating (I do have linen and tencel bedding, which helps with this a ton)
My partner is 33, 5’6", and around 170lb (they’re pretty muscular). They’re about 60/40 between side and back sleeping. Honestly, though, they can sleep on just about anything without too much issue. I’m definitely the pickier one.
Most of my pain is in my shoulder/neck area due and my lower back/hip area. I’m hoping for something that can support my heavier hip area and keep spinal alignment, while also allowing my shoulder enough space and not squishing it into an uncomfortable position. Shoulder pressure has been one of my biggest struggles.
I have a Purple harmony pillow (synthetic talalay core with gel grid sewn into the cover) that I absolutely adore. First using it was a weird and kind of off-putting experience as I felt like it was trying to push my head off the pillow, but as I got used to it I realized I can never go back. That responsiveness alleviates so much of my neck pain. I use the Purple pillow for my head, with an extra Honeydew side sleeper pillow (shredded memory foam and fiber fill with a curved cutout along one side) partially wedged underneath in case I need a little extra height or stability. Then a Coop body pillow (shredded memory foam also) for my knees and hugging
Around 2018 I got a firm memory foam mattress from mattress firm that was super cheap. 2017-2018 is also when my chronic pain issues started becoming more prevalent (though this was unrelated to the mattress, ironically). That lasted a couple years before I was waking up feeling quite literally bruised from the firmness on my hips, knees, and shoulders. I tried various memory foam, gel, and down toppers with little success. Some toppers would feel ok at first, but the supportiveness and envelopment soon led to more stiffness, and then the foam would inevitably break down and lose that. Not to mention it was suffocatingly hot. I was in pain all the time and was sleeping terribly.
In 2022 I discovered Purple and decided to splurge. We got the Hybrid Premier 3, so it was a mix of spring, I believe some foam?, and 3" of the gel grid. It was amazing at first. The mix of support, the responsiveness/jell-o feeling of the grid, and the breathability felt like exactly what I needed. I was supported and it was super soft, but I wasn’t sinking into it and feeling stuck. The gel felt like it was pushing back (which admittedly was super weird at first) in a way that allowed small movements and shifting in my body throughout the night while still supporting me. So I’m not waking up as sore and stiff from being glued into one position all night.
Until, of course, within 6 months or so we were noticing sagging on our usual sleeping spots and the edges started pulling away from the gel grid - leaving huge “shelfs” and divots that basically make the outer 3" perimeter of the mattress feel unusable. We did manage to use the warranty replacement, and they sent us a new bed. We also got a new bed frame from KD Frames that uses solid wooden boards with much tighter spacing to hopefully any prevent sagging that might have stemmed from our old metal Zinus frame with the metal slats much thinner and further apart.
We’ve had the replacement since then and have seen pretty much exactly the same behavior, but I’ve stuck with it because it was so dang expensive. It’s hard to swallow spending $2.7k (on sale, even!) on a mattress that barely lasts a year before there’s sagging that’s obviously visible to the naked eye. I know mattresses break in a bit, and that’s entirely fair, but this is a good inch or more of visible sagging without any weight on it. The responsiveness (I think some people call it the “jiggle” or “push back”) seems to have lessened, and while I’m still sleeping ok, the pain is definitely worse than it was when the mattress was newer. My arm often feels pinched or numb from the lack of give, so I’ve been trying to prop up my upper body more to alleviate that, which in turn messes with my lower back due to misalignment. It’s a struggle ):
I don’t want to replace this thing through warranty and go through the insanity of lugging this heavy monstrosity down 3 flights of stairs if it’s just going to do the same thing in 6 months.
I discovered latex a while back and was pretty interested, but obviously haven’t done anything about it since I was still really trying to hold out hope for my Purple.
I did recently order a 3" soft Dunlop topper from Sleep on Latex to put on top of the Purple (which feels like sacrilege for some reason!), and my partner actually complained that the bed was now TOO comfy and they were going to stay in bed forever! haha
I do like the topper, and the support is definitely there…but it still feels too firm/dense for me, I think. I really loved that sort of floaty cloud feeling from the firstonth or two on the purple. I may also be spoiled from just how ridiculous the Purple’s breathability is, but it’s also a little hot (even in Winter!). I’m considering returning it for a 3" soft talalay topper from SleepEZ instead to see if that gets me what I’m looking for, at least in the interim. But I’m not sure yet, especially since 3" talalay toppers are easily $400-500, and that’s not a small investment.
Eventually, I do think I’d like to fully replace this with a latex mattress, and of course I’m curious what configuration you think would work best for my very much “princess and the pea” level sensibilities. I’m thinking a 10" from SleepEZ using a soft talalay, medium talalay, and then medium or firm dunlop? Or should I try something else if I still have the soft talalay topper at that point and keep it for switchability with the other 3 layers? Should I bother with a convoluted layer?
I’ve also seen the vZone layers from Flobeds and really like the idea, but the cost is 1.5-2x that of the SleepEZ (the vZone queen is like $2.8k on sale and a similar organic non-zoned queen from SleepEZ is like $1.7k), so I’m torn. I don’t know if zoning would be worth it. Both companies have great return and satisfaction policies, so I’m not worried about that as much, but it’s still a big investment in both time and money.
I’m sorry for the novel, but I hope this info is helpful. Any guidance or tips y’all can recommend would be so, so appreciated. I’d like to get as close as I can initially, but I know there will inevitably be trial and error, and that I may not find a “perfect” setup with my health issues. I’m just hoping to find a mattress that won’t ADD to my base-level pain, even if it doesn’t alleviate anything.