I’m 6’3" 325lbs, I side sleep. My partner is smaller than me and back sleeps. Our current mattress is worn out and we are both waking up with sore backs.
We need a new mattress and I have no idea where to start. We need something that will be comfortable and not break down in just a couple years because of my weight.
We are in SW Pennsylvania and while reading this website I am realizing I know absolutely nothing.
Hi Wasz,
Welcome to TMU.
One of the interesting things I always seem to come across is trying to accommodating larger folks. Even when you do a google search, you get the same three or four mattresses that seem to pop up for larger sleepers.
To complicate matters, in comes a partner that is smaller, sometimes half the BMI, each with separate sleep positions and comfort preferences.
Every person or couple seeking a new mattress is going to have their individual PPP’s (Posture and alignment, Pressure relief, and Personal preferences)
You may want to check out the Condesed Tutorial just for additional reference.
More than likely you are going want to look for a mattress system that offers split comfort for you and your partner. While it is certainly possible you both may have the same preferences despite the size difference, you want to be prepared and have the option to have individualized comfort.
You can accomplish split comfort in a couple of ways. One is to get a split king. This consists of two twin xl mattresses, they can be on a single base/foundation, you can have twin xl adjustable bases.
Another option is to have a king mattress with split internal comfort. This is where the mattress basically looks like a normal king size but with each side designed for each of your comfort preferences.
My opinion is to stay away from viscoelastic memory foam mattresses (tempurpedic style). Those types of foams are heat sensitive and create that sinking into the mattress feel. My gut feeling is you would wear through it quickly and end up spending a lot and not get the longevity for your value you might expect.
There are some things you would want to look for in your search.
A mattress has three basic components. The support layer, the comfort layer and the cover/panel layer.
The support layer consists of your spring layer or a very dense foam. It can be dunlop latex, talalay latex or polyurethane foam. Dunlop latex is most common when latex is being used.
The comfort layer can be a number of things. Latex, viscoelastic memory foam, polyfoam, micocoils, natural fibers, like cotton or wool, and so on.
Then you have the cover that can be tufted, quilted, pillowtop, eurotop, comprised of foams or fibers.
When HD (high density) foams are being used, for your side, the minimum would be 1.8lbs, but for your BMI, you need to really be 2.2 or 2.4lbs.
The support layer which in my opinion should be a coil layer rather than foam, should be in the 12’s or 13’s gauge range. This is general guideline. Coils can be made in different ways, in different thicknesses, turns, diameters, placement style in the mattress. Some will offer that 16g coils are fine and can be more supportive than 13g coils, based on the amount coils, turns and diameters.
I will comfortably say, that most manufactures, when using thicker gauge coils, say between 12-13.75 are intending to make their mattresses firm and supportive by virtue of the thicker coils.
A thicker 17 or 18" mattress does not mean it will support you better! It may look all nice and thick, tufted and rugged looking, but it is what is on the inside that counts, not the cosmetics of the exterior.
There are some mattresses such as @DLX DLX Classic that could be a fit for both of you as there are some mattresses that can handle your BMI and still offer comfort and support to a variety of sleepers.
Companies like trusted member @ShovlinMattress manufacture their own mattresses and can accommodate a variety of folks of different sizes and comfort preferences.
I would encourage you to peruse some of the trusted members sites, and get a general sense of what direction you want to go.
As a reference, I am 6’ 220 (formerly 250+) and my wife is 5’4 135. We are both 80% side sleepers. We sleep on a king mattress with a 9.5/10 firmness level. Exactly what everyone tells you wont be comfortable as it is supposed to be too firm for side sleepers. Wasz, we just love our bed. The “rules” out there are general guidelines. You need to get out and test a few, lying on each you try for a good 20-30 minutes. Let the salesperson talk what you lie on the mattress. Lie on your side, your partner should lie on their back.
Don’t get bedazzled by the first mattress you try and dont be “sold.” Think about it and go back another day if you feel like you found a winner. See if your experience the next day/time is as impressive as the first.
If they don’t or won’t tell you what is in the mattress, what the densities are, the gauges, the thicknesses, and so on, so you can compare, that is the time you start looking for it. Go home and research it.
Have a budget! But… try it even if it is out of your budget. As a matter of fact, ask the price later, find what is comfortable first. You may find a 9k Royalpedic out there, and someone else may have something that matches up to it perfectly.
For example, @TheCleanBedroom they carry a lot of luxury high quality mattresses. But they also carry a proprietary line that matches nicely with some of the high end mattress lines, but at prices that are still from this planet. Naturally Organic Chelsea or this Naturally Organic Gramercy Innerspring
It may take a little more extra work on your part, but you are spending $$$ on something you will using 8 hours a day, for a good long time.
Hopefully, this will get you started and thinking about what direction you need to go.
Thank you for the response. Much appreciated.